Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
