Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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