just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
