I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
