I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
