I'm so fucking centered right now
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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