all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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