Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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