His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
