He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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