everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
