Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
