Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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