I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I didn't notice because vodka
Just high enough for therapy.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
