Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
