does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
