i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
