I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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