i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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