she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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