I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
whose parrot is this?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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