I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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