People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
