plz talk dirty to me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
