He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
