did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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