At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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