ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
