this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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