I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
