Hey man sorry I got all grabby
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
