Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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