Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
