I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
vagina is talking i cant
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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