I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
