this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
