Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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