Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
