The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
