Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's shark week go big or go home
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
