She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
