playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
