OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
