hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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