I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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