i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
