I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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