You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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