Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
