beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
