Ambien. No doubt about it.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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